Is currently to create a machine, that would allow you to read and walk at the same time, meaning it would do the looking around for you! Think how much time that could save you and how many books you would be able to read this way! 

No, really, this is just my excuse to avoid studying maths (did you notice I only write here when I have to study maths? No? I did.). But it would still be a great thing to own.

Kinda weird. Kinda cool.

Today is the first day of spring. Yay!

http://www.feedbooks.com/

Though I’m sure everybody else found it before me … Most of what we have to read for school is on this website, as are many works of major classics, like Dostoyevsky, Flaubert, Dickens, Austen … I, for one, love it!

One would think that his leg would get worse as he grew older. But it didn’t. The pain was still always there, but no worse that it had been before. Everything else did get worse, though. His drinking, his loneliness, his bitterness. And he never got off those pills either. And he was older. So much older. Everyone around him, everyone he once knew, started dying of a few years ago, leaving him even less people to call and talk to. He was not afraid of dying now, but death wouldn’tde come to him. Wilson was dead now too, for a time much longer that House ever imagined he could be separated from him. And yet he was alone, for months and years now, and was still breathing and drinking and eating vicodyn. Alone. The days weren’t all so bad. There were some when he was called back to the hospital to solve a case or two, which he did, and afterwards felt almost happy about it. But these days were getting fewer now, as younger doctors slowly replaced him and everything changed. No matter how much he read and studied and tried, time ran over him. And entering those hallways… even though now different than they once were, they still brought back memories. Of Chase and Cameron and Foreman and all the other doctors that worked for him after they had left, of Cuddy and the first and last Mrs. House, but mostly memories of the people he had saved and never looked at, never remembered their faces or names – even though he could recall most of the diseases they had had. The hardest memories of them all, memories of Wilson, didn’t need any stimulation so that they would return to his old and messy mind. They were there all the time. When he drank coffee, House remembered how Wilson used to did that. Once he was thinking deeply about a case and, wanting to go and talk to Wilson about it, he had already put on his coat – before he had remembered that Wilson was not there any more. It was hard, hard every single time, all the time. Yet memories were what he lived off – memories of their talks during the day, and their kisses during the night. He had wondered how they could had thrown away all those years of their youth, never realizing how much they loved each other, not until they were middle-aged, broken and bitter, and there was no future for them any more. House wished they would had tried anyway, tried to live together, to love each other, but they were not ready for it, House was not ready for it, not until it was too late and Wilson was there no more. He was too old now even for hookers, and that meant Wilson sometimes came to his dreams. He went to sleep every night, hoping he would come, hoping they could talk, that was all he was asking for, but when he did come, they never talked. In his dreams, they were young again, full of power and life, House’s leg didn’t hurt and Wilson wasn’t being eaten up by cancer, a disease he had fought against for his entire life, but about which he could do nothing when it came for him. It was not fair, House realized, that he was given more time that Wilson had been. He never did anything right, he was never nice to a person and he only loved with lust and greed, never with care and compassion, yet he was here now and many others were not. It was a sunny Sunday in autumn when he decided to finish it all. Overdose seemed like the way to go, and he made sure an old friend was coming around later, so he would not rot in his apartment for days before anyone would find him. After he took the pills, he sat at the piano and played for the last time, he played Wilson’s favourite song, and he was suddenly not in his apartment any more, he was walking in the sun and Wilson was there and other people he had loved, but never admitted to it. When the darkness came, he was not afraid any more, and he drifted into it with the soft sound of the song in his ears.

*

When Alice Cameron found his old boss lying on the floor of his apartment, she was not surprised. She always knew he would leave this world like this, when he would decide it by himself, and he would not let death surprise him. She called the ambulance and then left, before it arrived, going home to her husband and her youngest daughter, for they were the only ones who could comfort her.

A year of doing absolutely nothing connected to HTML or CSS (except blogging, but wordpress does all the work, so …) I figured that I forgot A LOT of what I knew. Better start learning again, before I forget everything.

On other notes, why does everybody else seem to be an expert in maths, except me?

After some starter hiccups when switching to a new service provider, the Internet at my dad’s place is now working 4 times faster, when we are paying less than we did before.

Hopefully, I will switch to another service provider at my house too. I will be choosing an even higher speed there, and we will only be paying about 10 € each month (for a speed of 10Mb/s), while now we are paying about 30 € (for a speed of 1Mb/s).

In a year, we will save about 240 €, which is half the price of my trip to London this spring, so I can say I’m pretty happy with my decision.  

With a brand new Internet connection, I think it’s also time to finally buy a new domain (maybe I can use part of the money we will save) and move this blog to my own server, as well as create a nice enough design, so I’ll practice my web designing skills, after I just left them lying there for almost a year.  Better go and look for some inspiration!

I dreamt of sleeping with Chuck Bass (with the body and the face of Ed Westwick, of course). 

A proof I should be spending more time studying and less time watching Gossip girl. Seriously.

I know I still have two years left, but I’m a little worried about choosing a career. The problem with me is not that I couldn’t get to a certain college or that I wouldn’t be interested in any of the programmes available – it’s quite the opposite, I’m interested in almost everything I ever even considered to be a possibility.

On one hand, I love science, mainly biology. That’s why I would love to study medicine. It’s highly interesting, you earn a lot of money, but, if I’m honest, I don’t think I could pull all that work after work after work and studying after studying after studying for the rest of my life. I don’t even know if I would like the job itself, and just because  I find the matter interesting, it does not mean I will love my work or that I will be good at it.

Biology is another option, but I’m really only interested in human and animal biology, while botanics do not interest me at all. The programme does have some interesting subjects to choose from, though, for example paleontology and anthropology.

Microbiology and Immunology is another possibility, but my knowledge of chemistry is really not all that good.

I would also love to learn as much about computer science as possible.

As interesting as I find science, there are other matters that attract me as well. I simply love ancient history and I really wanted to be an archaeologist when I was little. I love to learn languages, and studying Japanese, for example, would be really cool. I also love to write – being a journalist or a writer would be great too – but I don’t think you can earn a lot of money with that, at least not on our market. 

So, at the end of the day, I have no idea what I want to be.  A scientist, a writer, a doctor? How does one decide? Or can you be all these things at once, if you really tried?